Turning over a new leaf

I'm trying to think more positively. I've been feeling so down lately, and I think I've just been digging myself deeper and deeper into a rut of sadness. So, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, and start thinking more about the things I have to feel grateful for, rather than dwelling on this sadness.

There are definitely still moments that the sadness feels like it overcomes me - and please don't get me wrong; this is not me saying I'm going to get over this, or even that I'm going to TRY to get over this. I just feel like it's time to really work on my conversation with God, and allow Him to speak to me about what I need to do now, rather than allowing myself to continue being angry with Him.

I had a really great conversation with a close friend today, and she reminded me that maybe the best thing to do right now, is to give myself a happy distraction. Maybe some sort of project (I've been wanting to make a new duvet cover for a while now...), or something to look forward to, rather than just dwelling so deeply on getting pregnant again. Because I'm being told from all angles that I need to just relax about conceiving (as impossible as that feels), and then it will happen.

She made another really great point - that maybe once June is over, this month that I have been dreading, it will feel a bit like a clean slate. Once I get past June 17, maybe this sadness will lift just slightly.

So here I am, trying to get into constant conversation with God.. and working on turning my thoughts into positive ones. We'll see how this goes.