A Miracle in a beautiful, tiny package

Phew.. it's been a while since I've posted on my blog! I'm sure most of you who read this already know of our beautiful Miracle, but let's make it an official announcement.

Annalise Valerie Janzen was born on February 18, 2011 at 8:48am, weighing 7lbs, 1oz.

I feel like there's so much to say.. where do I start?

Well, first of all, there is great significance in her birthday! Just the day before she was born, I was posting a Happy Heavenly Birthday to our sons, Michael & Gabriel. Derek & I made sure to embrace that day, and allow ourselves to grieve over them again. We visited the cemetary, (though we didn't stay long, because there was knee-high snow, and it was very chilly), and we had dinner that evening with Mom and Dad Janzen. We also set up the crib in Annalise's room - I remember saying that evening, I feel prepared now for this baby! Our midwife told us just the day before the twins' birthday, that it was important for us to allow ourselves the emotions that came with that day - important for ourselves, and important for the health of the pregnancy.
It was no coincidence that Annalise was born the very next day - it was absolutely, without a doubt, a God thing. Annalise wasn't due until March 12 - she was 3 weeks early. Derek & I have said on numerous occasions, that we are grateful that she wasn't born on the 17th, because we feel like it's important for the twins to have their own day; but what a blessing to have a brand new baby to celebrate exactly a year after the worst days of our lives.

The labour & delivery to bring Annalise into this world was a beautiful experience, for what it was. The whole process was only 4 hours from start to finish, and all went perfectly, without a hitch.

I woke up at 4:48 in the morning to my water breaking, and then contractions started, so I called my midwife. She said to try and get some rest, because it would probably be a few hours before I was in enough pain that I needed to get to the hospital. Of course I was just too excited to go back to bed, and before long the contractions were coming quickly & strong! By 7am, we were at the hospital, calling Derek's mom to come quick if she wanted to be there for the birth! Annalise was born an hour and 45 minutes later, in the water. (By the way - water birth, strongly recommended!) We spent the next 2 nights in the hospital, and took her home on a sunny, but very cold, Sunday afternoon.

Now here we are, 3 months later, and I'm finally getting around to writing about all of this! Annalise is an amazing baby. As I write, she is cooing away in her playpen. We are so incredibly blessed. She already sleeps through the night, and has since before she was a month old, and for the most part throughout the day, she is very content. These days she has so many smiles to give - it is such a special moment when she flashes a smile, just for me. We're still waiting for her first laugh - I don't think it will be long now.



There are so many people that love her; what a lucky baby girl.
D.

Happy Heavenly Birthday

Happy Birthday Sweet Angels...

I don't have anything deep & meaningful to write today, but I feel like it's important to acknowledge this day. I can't believe it's been a year since we said goodbye to our angels. Today has been harder than I expected it to be - I woke up with that sinking feeling that I felt a lot after we lost the twins.

It feels good, in a strange way to think back on this day a year ago, and to cry for our boys again.

I know that our babies are celebrating their birthday in the best way possible - that doesn't keep me from wishing they were celebrating with us though.

We miss you Michael & Gabriel... Thinking of you every single day.

D.

Hello 2011

I was so happy to say Good-Bye to 2010. The year held some blessings of course, but I'm sure I'll always look back on 2010 as the year that Jesus took Michael & Gabriel Home.

I'm looking forward to 2011 with a lot of hope - I am 2 months away from the birth of this baby, and now that the Christmas season & all of our celebrations are over, my mind is completely filled with what we need to do before the arrival of this baby. I always thought with 2 months left, I would feel like I had plenty of time, but I catch myself thinking, "what if this baby comes early??" I even had a dream not too long ago, that we had this baby, but no clothes to put him/her in! I guess that's probably normal in the late stages of pregnancy. Derek assures me we have plenty of time.

I have to believe that 2011 is the year that we will hold a healthy baby in our arms. But sometimes... those thoughts seem to creep in. What if it's not that easy? What if God has other plans for this baby? As I start collecting things for this baby, a tiny voice in the back of my head says, "I sure hope you don't have to pack all of this away, without a baby to use it for". The devil is pretty sneaky that way, making me think those thoughts are normal... making me worry about the well-being of this baby.

I've been sick with a cold for the last few days (courtesy of my husband!), and I think it may have made our baby sleepy, because yesterday and the day before, the baby wasn't moving quite as much as he/she had been. There were little movements, here and there, but I was actually starting to get concerned. Thankfully, last night as I dozed off to sleep, baby seemed to wake up & started kicking & rolling around even more than before! What a relief. If it's possible, I feel like I'm appreciating all of these movements even more.. it's like Baby is telling me - "No worries, Mama, I'm doing well in here!" :)

So, here's to 2011. Hoping that all of you are blessed in big ways this year.

D.